After finish essay, I have been such a lazy girl.
Waking up at 1 o'clock in the afternoon, going bed after 3~4 o'clock inthe morning. Last night I was going bed earlier but I read books and couldn't stop it....hahaha
Until Thursday night I had been tackling my essay, and went out a bar and got trushed like a idiot. Friday I saw many friend and having a chat even I don't have enought time,,, At night, with friens from Finland and hongkong ( but she's been here for ages) had a Japanese dinner. After that I went back home and watched sex and the city until 4 o'clock with my american friend...haha
It is autum in Canberra. Chilly, windy and raining. I was going to civic today in the morning, but when I opened my eyes and saw the outside the window, it was about to rain. I gave up. It is OK, I was quite busy and rather stressed out until Friday so this kind of relax was necessary.
Such a day, it's good for watching movie. I used to do it in Montreal....
Last night I reread this blog I have written since I came here.I am only here for three month now. I mean, not three month yet. And I feel I am not enough, enough, enough... Why I can not speak like native? Why I can not read professional communication analysis books for a day and remambere everytihng either? Rela--------x!!! I can imagin Helene would hug me and try to make me laugh about it....
Now it's clear that the problem is my self-esteem not English. Without appriciating myself, my English would not get better....So now I started rethink my life which is a bit hectic.
My life in Canberra was gaven to me suddernly unexpected way. I was going to start job interview soon after I went back to Japan. And doing graduation thesis, woking as a part-time to teach English...uuum , Life was changed drastically. How peculiar...
My life here, I have only two months more.
I've finished my essays!!!!! They took me a month almost....
For treat myself I went uni bar yesterday and , got trushed! hahaha
That was awesome night, every ten minutes I saw my firiends.
Sometimes I feel quite solitude with being myself and doing all my things myself, only one Japanese mingling... Does everyone understand me? With sharing the common background and cultural foundation, it is absorutely easy to understand and be close as friends.
Maybe I can not be like `best best firned` I still feeling treates as a 'foreiger'. But last night was kind of proof as I am Ok, let's stop nagging and blame my self. Hoe many friends I met there? If I am timid girl all the time I wouldn't be like that. The problem is in myself not about my English skill. I still really envy one of my friend who can speak great english and doing pretty well in out side Japan. But, don't don't !!!
Oh yes, about essay, it wasn't so hard maybe... I was kind of luckey even I was struggling all my assingment (reading), I have been studying this subject in Japan and I knew a lot, that gave me some advantages. I strongly recommend to study the major before deciding exchange program.
Oh I have to hand in my essay I have no time, I've got to go!
I am currently tacklking my essay and I so enjoy it!
I like studying! ahahahaha
Ok, it is still, sos os sooooooooooooo hard. But I love it.
Eveything of my current life became really everyday life. Nothing is " just trip " anymore. My real life is here.
I finished one of my essays!!!! It became 12 pages, all of them. More than I thought, really. But one of my new friends who are taking same class with me helped me out of checking my grammer of my essay. So helpful, I didn't expected, she looked through whole my essay and made correct all of my mistake. Finally I finished. Thanx thanx!!!
I don't know how many hours I have been studying each day, anymore. I am struggling about how slow I can do resarch, and how difficult it is. I do say that I want to go back to my country only if it was japanese! But... If now I can go , I wouldn't go. I f DRARMON comes here and said to me that he gives me transrate KONNTYAKU,( I don't know what is called in English) I whouldn't take it. That's the way it is.
Also the how easy in my university in Japan.
So many qualified database I can use here, and the network is sophisticated. I want to study my majour like this circumstance still I wonder if it is really japanese I would be able to survey well. uuun But it is not excuse, just really being curious.
I should write about the life here, all the time I write about only how I feel.
HU--
The residence got noisy again with most students boming back here. I also came back the middle of this week and a bit felt lonely, so i am really glad to see them again!But also I engoy having a quiet time by myself. Doing assingment and taking time for my dinner with TV. Weekend I already saw a couple of my frineds and talked , it was so fun and appriciate I have friends here. some of them are really close to me now.
I have run these days, just want to be in fit. Today we played american football like,,,, I really don't know! That was good time, I run a lot good excercise but still I don't find that is good sport! I love watching Rugby game, but not playing...
Ok, and... oh in this morning I called Helene, who I lived with in Montreal. We got along wach other so much, I rally love her and she loves me. Before I met her actually I hadn't had anyone who really loved me (that what I thougt) so I was kind of sensitive about it, I didn't want to be closer with anybody. But having lived with here longer, we found ourselves really similar more. After I really thought I really love her, it was really great feeling I became more confident, calm, feeling stronger. She is single mother having two daughters and they are already independent, so great girls.
I actually don't believe myself doing good without her.
Now I am tackling my essays and I fouind I have done too much research,,,,, how can I cutting down them? I want to put all in it! Tonight I need to finish first writing anyway.!!!